You'll be surprised at how such a small shift in tempo can change the whole tone of an argument. Talk about caring for your parents as they age and how to appropriately plan for their financial needs if needed. Respect your partner's boundaries. You can be creative and take preferences into account -- as long as it feels fair to both of you. If things have gone south, continuing the same lifestyle is unrealistic. Don't dig up old wounds. For instance, say, "What I hear you saying is that you feel as though you have more chores at home, even though we're both working.
Be open to other solutions, she says. Trust Trust is a key part of a relationship. Don't approach the subject in the heat of battle. Even though every relationship has its ups and downs, successful couples have learned how to manage the bumps and keep their love life going, says marriage and family therapist Mitch Temple, author of The Marriage Turnaround. If you can't "communicate" without raising your voices, go to a public spot like the library, park, or restaurant where you'd be embarrassed if anyone saw you screaming. Unless you address problems, the same lack of skills that get in the way now will still be there and still cause problems no matter what relationship you're in. Construct a joint budget that includes savings. You and your partner can develop trust in each other by following these tips, Fay says. If things have gone south, continuing the same lifestyle is unrealistic. Even though there are always going to be problems in a relationship, Sherman says you both can do things to minimize marriage problems, if not avoid them altogether. Be fair, even in an argument. Be a good listener. Show appreciation, compliment each other, contact each other through the day, and show interest in each other. Instead, set aside a time that is convenient and non-threatening for both of you. Carry your fair share of the workload. Call to say you'll be home late. Conflict Occasional conflict is a part of life, according to New York-based psychologist Susan Silverman. Not Making Your Relationship a Priority If you want to keep your love life going, making your relationship a focal point should not end when you say "I do. Allow each person to have independence by setting aside money to be spent at his or her discretion. Do what you say you will do. When you're in the midst of an argument, are your comments geared toward resolving the conflict, or are you looking for payback? Sure it's tough, but just try it and watch something wonderful happen. If what the other person really meant was, "Hey, you're a slob and you create more work for me by having to pick up after you," he or she can say so, but in a nicer way. If your comments are blaming and hurtful, it's best to take a deep breath and change your strategy. Decide upon short-term and long-term goals. Don't lie -- not even little white lies to your partner or to others.
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